“I was at the End of My Rope”: Michael’s Story of Hope
Stories of Hope is a Men of Nehemiah series that chronicles the individual journeys of healing and redemption our men have experienced.
What was life like before Men of Nehemiah?
Before Nehemiah, I was at the end of my rope. Things were pretty bad. I was sleeping on the sidewalk in front of the library, and at night I would get sheets of cardboard to sleep on. I ate anything that anybody would give me because I had no money, and I couldn't stay sober long enough to keep a job. I was at my absolute worst.
How did you get connected to Men of Nehemiah?
I met Tyrone Choice [MoN alumni and former staff member] at a place called Our Calling. That's where I would go during the day to be out of the elements. I met him in the parking lot and he gave me a card that said The Men of Nehemiah. I had absolutely no idea what MoN was, but I put the card in my pocket and two days later I called Ty, and he was there within an hour to pick me up and bring me to the Men of Nehemiah.
Tell us about your background.
My name is Michael Lovett. I'm 52 years old. I was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, and moved to Jackson, Mississippi when I was 18. That's when I really got involved with heavy drugs.
Before then, I was smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol, hanging out with the guys, and it wasn't a problem up to that point. It didn't affect anything else. But once I started using crack cocaine in about 1989, that's when the downward spiral began.
What was the most transformative part of the program for you?
Taking a look at myself no matter what my complaints would be. My counselors, sponsors, and mentors would always tell me to look at myself and not let external problems dictate my actions. I had to learn to process everything that happens to me in my life and learn how to respond accordingly.
How did God work in your life through Men of Nehemiah?
God has shown up. You have to understand, I got saved at a very young age, and I always believed in God, but I wasn't doing the things that were necessary to get close to God. Nehemiah taught me to truly follow God.
The spiritual experience here has been phenomenal. It really has even to a point. One night I was laying in bed praying, praying until I ran out of prayers, and I actually heard my name being called. I prayed so hard that I actually heard that.
But now I'm walking with the Lord. I've learned to do devotions up to five times a day. I learned to constantly listen to my gospel music. I don't allow thoughts that I used to have to rent any space in my mind, and that's a big part of it. They taught me to fight and to lean on God and not on myself.
What does life look like now?
[laughing] I'm fat and happy! Every morning I wake up grateful. I’m grateful that I'm getting out of a bed. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste, the smallest things. I can go into the refrigerator and get something to drink if I want it. I have a job now. I’ve been sober for 15 months. It’s the longest I’ve ever been sober.
Feelings don't dictate my actions anymore. I try to remain constantly aware of what I'm doing and what I'm saying to people. I try to be kind and courteous and God-conscious in all of my affairs.
What was your experience like at Nehemiah?
It was hard. Men of Nehemiah is not an easy treatment center. It's not for the faint of heart. I can tell you that. You have to really want to do better to get through the program.
But when I came to the program, I was at my wit's end. And so I was willing to do anything and everything that the staff told me to do so I could get better. I wanted something different in life.